How To Lead As Your Authentic Self

In this episode of the Small Brave Moves podcast, we explore the power of authenticity in leadership. We discuss exercises to build trust within teams, including a transformative six-minute monologue that helps leaders share their true selves. Learn how to balance authority with approachability, discover your authentic self, and align your leadership with your core values. If you're ready to start your journey towards more authentic and brave leadership, this episode is for you. Tune in for actionable insights and inspiring stories that will help you lead with integrity and purpose.

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Transcript

If you're a mid level to C suite leader who wants to own your growth,  and figure out your next small brave move to achieve your leadership goals, you are in the right place. Welcome to the small brave moves podcast, a weekly deep dive on how to be braver in leadership and in life for exceptional results.

I'm your host, Nicole Bianchi. Best selling author, certified master executive coach, NSA certified speaking professional, chief bravery officer, and tough talk expert. If you're ready to become a better, braver, and more authentic leader, let's dive in.   Welcome back to small brave moves podcast. In today's episode, we're going to dive into the bravest thing that you can do in leadership and in life, which is showing up as your most authentic self. This is a journey of self discovery. Vulnerability and ultimately genuine leadership. 

So let's get started. 

When working with a newly formed leadership team or even a team that hasn't invested time into getting to know each other. I often use several powerful exercises to really get in there and build that momentum and trust. 

And one of my favorites is actually inspired by Patrick Lencioni's five dysfunctions of a team. And it involves each leader sharing a six minute monologue about their happiest moments, their saddest moments. And why they're really there at that moment. And the rules are simple. Phil the six minutes without talking about your resume or accolades. No questions or interruptions. And this exercise often starts with panic, this nervous laughter, but the results are profound and here's why. When everybody sits in silence and allows somebody to share more of who they are, they get past all of the, you know, The first two minutes of what they typically share with someone and they go so much deeper. And we learn more about who they really are. 

So here I am, I'm working with this CEO and she had just filled all of her C-suite roles in her new business. And that actually increased her leadership team by 50%. And there was some tension between the new leaders and the old leaders, the leaders that had been there for five plus years. Um, again, startup company, but there's, there's a difference right? 

Between the people that have just joined. So we carefully crafted a team offsite to address us focusing, not just on what they needed to deliver, which was the what? Right? The strategy, the objectives, the goals. But also how they wanted to work together. They needed to show up with the, how they wanted to come together. 

And so we started with this very exercise, the six minute monologue, and the CEO ended up going first, which is a strategic move on my part. And so we had her go first and she is sharing these deeply personal stories. Unscripted. And began to get a little teary-eyed and just really opened up about the personal journey she's been on that brought her to this CEO role. And it was a first time. 

Anybody on her team had heard anything like this and it actually opened the door for the rest of the team to do the same one by one. They followed. And shared deeply about who they were demonstrating vulnerability and how they had arrived at the position that they were at. And so by the end there just, wasn't a dry eye in the room. And sharing personal stories helps us really understand and appreciate each other better. And that's crucial, right? 

For building strong trusting, cohesive teams. 

To lead others effectively. You must first understand yourself. Self-discovery only happens when we step out of our comfort zones and give ourselves time and space. And when leaders. Take assessment in my programs, they often ask do I answer Nicole as I am at work or as I am at home. 

And my response is always, are you really two different people? And this question usually causes a pause because it's important to think about how do you integrate your true self into all aspects of your life.  Your authentic self is who you truly are regardless of your occupation or your influence on others. 

And it means being true to yourself in your thoughts. Your words, your actions. Listen, we all strive to fit in to be successful and find friendships, but true authenticity means not caring about what others think and living according to your values, which need to be set very intentionally by you and not others. And our society superficiality and perfection are often valued over authenticity. And we're told that success is defined by material possessions rather than how well we live our values. 

So how do we really stay authentic in a world that consistently and constantly pressures us to be some one else? 

Was leaders it's crucial, not only to show up as our most authentic selves. But also to create an environment where our teams can be authentic to listen, we role model it, they will follow. And I remember facilitating a leadership program where a manager was addressing a team members lateness. And he was strictly sticking to the facts, but I asked him. What are you most curious about right now, given this situation and  this conversation you have to have. And he said, Nicole, I want to understand what is really happening for this team member. And then how I can help them. And this shift from being purely authoritative. To being curious and empathetic was a step forward in being more authentic and creating that deeper connection and understanding.  Keith Johnstone, a pioneer in the improv theater talks about playing high and playing low and people who play high or authoritative. Well, those who play low are more approachable. 

So to be more authentic, leaders need to find that balance, these traits pulling back on the authoritative stance and incorporating some more approachable characteristics. Listen, we don't have to be perfect. And on all the time. Brave leaders build on their past successes and learn from them. And they understand that authenticity and adaptability are not mutually exclusive by viewing ourselves as works in progress. 

We can develop a leadership style that feels right for us and suits our organization's changing needs.

 Okay. So developing authenticity starts with recognizing the difference between your adaptive self and then your most authentic self. And that adaptive self helps you navigate difficult times while the authentic self keeps you true. And self-confident. So observe your behaviors and responses, noting which field true and which feel forced. 

This awareness helps you align more with your authentic self over time. Authenticity and purpose are so closely linked. And a deep sense of purpose helps you express your authenticity and being authentic often helps you discover your purpose. Many leaders adapt to their organization's mission, vision or values without really doing that deep work to define their own. 

And what happens is, is you feel disconnected in this lack of fulfillment because you might sort of know your purpose, but you haven't clearly defined it and owned it. So to find your purpose. I want you to ask yourself, why are you here? What energizes you? What drives you? Who do you want to help? What do you want to help with? And your values form the foundation of your life. Influencing your decisions and direction. And identifying your personal ethos, your values helps guide you to live your purpose and maintain your authenticity. 

Even when it's challenging. And living your values is inherently fulfilling. When you face situations that conflict with your values or your ethos. It takes small brave moves to stand firm. So for example, if authenticity is one of your values, there will be times when it's uncomfortable to live, according to that value. 

But listen, staying true to yourself will bring a lasting sense of integrity and fulfillment. 

Have you done the deep work to really understand your authentic self? Well, if not, Hey, it's never too late to start. I want you to begin with one small brave move and that's doing the discovery work. Brave leaders do the deep discovery work to understand who they are, how they want to show up and how they want to be. This clarity gives you that path forward to living your very best life. I hope you feel inspired to start your journey of authenticity. If you enjoy today's episode, please subscribe, leave a review, share with a friend. 

Remember the bravest thing you can do is show up as your most authentic self. And never forget your bravery will inspire others to make their first small brave move. So until next time, keep making those small brave moves.   

Thank you for joining me for this episode of the small brave moves podcast. If you're wanting to take this work even deeper, I'm here to help from engaging and inspirational keynote speeches to transformational coaching and workshops for leaders and teams. Page turning books, online courses, and enlightening leadership development retreats.

There are so many ways that we can work together to take your leadership to the next level. For more information, check out the show notes and let's do this together. One small, brave move at a time. See you next week